Am I There Yet?

There’s a false and fleeting sense of arrival and completion upon entering the season of life you’ve been waiting for, yearning for, praying for.



Sure, you’ve gotten “there”, but you’re nowhere near done with the waiting, wanting and desiring for life to change in dozens of ways.




I waited and prayed and begged for God to heal my sister from cancer and restore her to full health. I journeyed with my parents in the wilderness of hospital visits, treatment centers, and waiting. Two years later God answered our prayers for healing…and took her home.



I waited and prayed and longed for my husband. I was “ready” to get married when I was 19 (and God in his infinite wisdom knew that would have been a terrible idea for me at that age!). Still I waited and dated and prayed. 7 years after I told God I was ready, He agreed.



Those are my long seasons of waiting…I’ve had so many more in between where I’ve asked God to change something, bring about answers or direction, or just to hurry up and get me to whatever’s next! His answers have varied but every time they were not the point. God in His tender mercies continues to redirect my focus time and time again to the life that is happening right in front of me.




If you’re waiting for any season to complete you, you’ll be waiting an eternity. Marriage, motherhood, the perfect job, the kids who excel (or at least make you tear less of your hair out), your home to be just right, the chronic pain to subside, or the anxiety and depression to stop….all of these are good things but when you make them the ultimate…your “arrival” and your finish line…you will completely miss the journey. Instead of feeling full and satisfied you will be left clutching to disappointments. Because the growth, character shaping and the life happening in-between here and there is the point.



God brought life and beauty out of a horrible illness in my sister’s life. Her bald head sported colorful wigs, and her laughter filled the halls of many hospitals. She had a sweet, child-like love for Jesus and she shared it with anyone who would listen. She was the kind of person that invited you to come exactly as you are, celebrating individuality and differences, because she was so comfortable being herself. A rare beauty that I had the pleasure of sharing part of my journey with.



God also taught me how to live singleness well, to get the most out of a season that felt pointless. To learn to be comfortable in my own skin. To use my time and talents and passions to be a blessing to those around me rather than bottling them up and saving them for later.


Landing my man has been a wonderfully sweet blessing and provision in my life…but he is not my finish line.




God is still teaching me that His seemingly senseless “no’s” or “wait awhile” have a place in His master-plan. My anxieties and fears don’t go unnoticed and my longings and desires matter. And that even when He does say yes, He’s not done with me just yet.



Instead of completion, I search for peace.



Instead of looking to arrive, I do my best to embrace the process of what it takes to get “there”, knowing that wherever that is, I still have a ways to go.




A life of significance is found in what feels like the margins. The waiting and the longing and the unmet desires will shape you, and you get to decide how.




Life isn’t all about the mountain tops; it’s about making the valleys a rich and prosperous place, embracing the quirks and cracks, and living well right where you are.








{A blog commission by Cedar Creek’s Fabulous Women’s Conference  where I will be sharing the stage with three other fantastic women sharing our stories on May 16th! Click here to check it out or get registered!



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